Past few years
For quite sometime I stopped with writing.
I came to the conclusion that I was using this device for self therapy and obsessive criticism of myself and pitying my life.
I associated my writing with my depressions and anxieties.
I thought I could not write no more, because there is nothing to write about, since my "interesting glorified suicidal girl" persona has sank deeper and she has not appeared for more that few days in the past year.
My mind was possessed with the idea of tortured writer and that for me to succeed and write "the truth" I need to suffer to express myself like all of "the good ones".
It did not stop there. And yes, I was in a bad place. But I believe I am not anymore.
So, here I am - still trying to figure my life out.
But instead of relentlessly reading The Bell Jar while listening to Joy Division (not saying that I don´t do that anymore. It is still huge part of me), trying to be more productive and contribute to the society and community I am part of.
I will still use my pseudonym "elisfrencis" that I gave myself when I was 15, just because I like the sound of it and let´s be honest, I gained most of my "poetry fame" by using that.
Just the statistics -I started blogging when I was 13, had 9 sites /each with different subjects), last published article was on 3rd May 2015, but I still continued to post private as a form of diary. I did not delete them, just put them away as a reminder what a journey it was to become who I am now (yup, clishe right there).
What will I write about now? I guess you will see. I have quite some topics that I want to share. Especially the ones about coffee, femininity and life itself (as horrible as it sound).
A.
I came to the conclusion that I was using this device for self therapy and obsessive criticism of myself and pitying my life.
I associated my writing with my depressions and anxieties.
I thought I could not write no more, because there is nothing to write about, since my "interesting glorified suicidal girl" persona has sank deeper and she has not appeared for more that few days in the past year.
My mind was possessed with the idea of tortured writer and that for me to succeed and write "the truth" I need to suffer to express myself like all of "the good ones".
It did not stop there. And yes, I was in a bad place. But I believe I am not anymore.
So, here I am - still trying to figure my life out.
But instead of relentlessly reading The Bell Jar while listening to Joy Division (not saying that I don´t do that anymore. It is still huge part of me), trying to be more productive and contribute to the society and community I am part of.
I will still use my pseudonym "elisfrencis" that I gave myself when I was 15, just because I like the sound of it and let´s be honest, I gained most of my "poetry fame" by using that.
Just the statistics -I started blogging when I was 13, had 9 sites /each with different subjects), last published article was on 3rd May 2015, but I still continued to post private as a form of diary. I did not delete them, just put them away as a reminder what a journey it was to become who I am now (yup, clishe right there).
What will I write about now? I guess you will see. I have quite some topics that I want to share. Especially the ones about coffee, femininity and life itself (as horrible as it sound).
A.
Komentáre
Zverejnenie komentára